Love Laugh & Organize

Have you ever had an internal struggle between the freedom to be an independent individual and wanting to be emotionally and physically dependant? This has been a recurring theme in my life. Whether it’s my older cousins and college friends giving the “I don’t need a man” speech that touches on Latino men’s machismo and objectification of women, my hesitation to move away from my immediate family to go to college/DC, or juggling time and energy between the passion of social justice and the person I am romantically invested in.

I want to be free.

I want to be liberated and not be boggled down by self oppression and my own objectification. I do not want to have the guilt that arises when I choose to spend time with my partner instead of organizing. I do not want to have the self judgment when I decide to remove myself from anything relating to social justice and spend time with my close family to listen to their apathetic approach to civic engagement. I want to relax and take a drive to an undisclosed destination without having pending thoughts of the work that must be done to get a movement off the ground. I want to remember the happiness of my childhood without feeling trapped on my commercialized addiction to Disney and action figures.

I want to be free.

I know I am not the only one. There are many people who talk about these issues, especially when it comes to being in a relationship. The question that always comes up is, “Can I be truly call myself an independent individual if I make myself physically and emotionally vulnerable to someone else?”. After experiencing many situations like this (not just on a romantical level) and thinking a lot about it this weekend, I have found the answer: LOVE.

As corny as that sounds, it truly is the reason why we do the work that we do while at the same time caring so much for people. I realized I have been battling two different types of love my whole life; never really putting both of them together. The love to progress and social justice, while very abstract, manifests itself into the love and energy I spend with loved ones. I should not be questioning my relationships with people I care about because of the work that I do. I should be using their energy and support to continue to fight for issues and ideas I am passionate about.

Being Independent does not mean being alone.

Having a support system will only make you stronger. Being afraid to love because of how it might open you up physically and emotionally is something we all have to work on, including myself. No one wants to be hurt. No one wants to experience a broken heart or being betrayed by someone you invested time and energy in. The same can be said for broader issues we fight for. The hurt and heartbreak that comes from a failed campaign can disinvest the most power leaders. The tears and physical sacrifices made to fight for what is right can often lead to questioning our own worth. These feelings cause emotional breakdown; the last thing I want to be dealing with right now.

But regardless of the dangers of hurt, heartbreak and betrayal, we must not be afraid to try.



Loving life,

-DM